Welcome to Simple Romanian!
We’ve created this website in Cluj-Napoca, the capital of Transylvania. This means you will hear a lot of conversation spoken in vampire dialect.
From time to time, you will also hear us speak English, rest assured that the Romanian accent is not far from that of dumbed-down Russians.
Now that you laughed at us, we present to you the best way to learn Romanian in our opinion, exposure and natural conversations held with natives.
Take a look at the video below to learn your first few words in Romanian in a natural way:
This is more than just a language-learning or translation service website, it follows the story of Sergiu Dobozi, a character which does not care about social norms and is willing to stop people on the street and exploit their human flaws for his own gain.
You may or you may not like him, but at least he doesn’t have to ask for permission to do anything. The story has a lot of twists and turns, there is character development, tension, drama and passion.
All that matters is that in the end you will learn Romanian, following the Simple Romanian story. Just click on any lesson, to get yourself started. Interact with us and let us know how you improved your Romanian with us.
Oh, you’re still not convinced that you should be learning Romanian with us? OK, before you read all the lessons, I decided to add Lesson 0. Just to prove how generous I am. Learning a language is a serious business. If you don’t start learning the swearwords first and foremost, then there is something wrong.
Girl 1 : Muie Dragnea! E ok?
Suck a dick Dragnea! Is it OK?
Sergiu: E ok, e ok. Super.
Girl 2: Uhm, Du-te-n pizda mă-tii!
Uhm, go fuck yourself! (Literally, go into your mother’s vagina)
Girl 2: Faţă de pizdă, nu ştiu, it’s awkard!
Cuntface, I don’t know, it’s awkward!
Girl 3: Bag pula-n ea ploaie!
Fuck the rain (Literally I shove the dick into the rain)
Girl 4: Du-te-n pula mă-tii?
Go into your mother’s dick?
Sergiu: Mama, mama are pulă. Ioooi, asta n-am mai, asta n-am mai auzit-o până acuma.
Mother, mother has a dick. OMG, this one I’ve never, this one I’ve never heard until now.
Girl 4: Atunci du-te-n pizda mă-tii.
Then go fuck yourself! (Just because I didn’t hear that swearing before?)
Girl 5: Pizda mă-tii!
Your mother’s cunt!
Girl 5: Mersi
And you’re welcome Girl 5, you’re welcome.
Since this is lesson 0, I won’t explain all the extra words and grammar, but a lot of it is simple and you can figure out for yourself with a little extra work and a teacher (and we’ll get to that later).
Just know that if you go through all of the carefully laid out 60+ free lessons here, this lesson, lesson 0 is gonna be a piece of cake.
Now you should know or realize by now that this website is more than just for learning Romanian, I can help you do much more than that. I connect language learning to social freedom. Our service unknowingly acts as a…as a service through which sleazy foreign sex-tourists can facilitate their actions.
There, I said it. We said it (The Simple Romanian team that is).
It’s kind of gross really. It’s kind of gross. Women face enough harassment on the street by strange men without me encouraging foreigners to do the same, right? Why not post a lesson on how to talk about things that matter – politics, worldview, social justice…?
Because I know what attracts people to a language. That’s other people, or cartoons. A lot of people learn Japanese because of its wonderful Anime. But other than that, if you started learning the language it’s because you really love the girls in our country. And you may have been convinced that the language is beautiful because of that.
Maybe a really nice cute girl said “Bag pula-n ea ploaie!” and then hocked a big nice loogie. That loogie almost hit you and you thought that was hot.
I know, I know. This subject is getting out of hand and you can’t wait to go for lesson 1. This is why I am going to cut things short, leave you to do your own thing, learn Romanian and whatnot. I just have one last request before you go and read about my adventures. Please, please read the last few sentences and maybe…maybe click on the link below? You don’t have to contact us, God no! But if you’re here for the free lessons and click on that link you can find out my true motives for building this website (and it’s not to facilitate those evil sex-tourists’ actions) Cheers!
The Simple Romanian team is now teaching on Skype. Click here to send us a message and let's learn Romanian together!